“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope
Disappointments are a part of life. Everyone disappoints you at some point of time. Or rather you disappoint some people who mean so much to you .You can’t avoid that feeling of being crushed under the weight of your or someone else’s expectations. It’s the most natural feeling in the world and surprisingly the most common. For me, the worst kind of disappointment is when I disappoint myself. That’s the time I lose faith in myself and go into depths of despair. Yes, it happens.
Why does this happen? Why do we feel disappointed in ourselves or most of the time, others?
It happens because we keep expectations in life.
We expect something out of ourselves. And when we fail to reach those expectations we feel shattered. As if we have failed ourselves. Like when we don’t score well in our exams or we don’t achieve a goal we had thought was achievable.
Same thing happens when one of our near and dear ones fail to deliver. We expect something from our friends when we do something for them. We expect a thank you or some sort of appreciation. And when we don’t get that it hurts. True right?
So what's the solution?
Do we stop expecting?
Is that the correct and the most appropriate step to be taken?
Well... I would answer this question with a yes and a no.
We shouldn’t stop expecting from ourselves. Because that’s how a person grows. When we fail ourselves that’s the fire we need to excel further, the motivation needed to try harder. We know what we are capable of; we are the ones who know our potential the best. So when we stop expecting something from ourselves that’s suicidal because that means that we have given up on ourselves.
But, when the same thing happens with someone else I suggest the fault lies in you. Maybe we don’t mean so much to the person as he is to us.
So why would he do anything for us?
This is the worst mistake we commit in our life… expecting something from others. We all have heard the quote;
‘even your best friend will let you down sometime.’
Why so? Because we start expecting something from them. Because we start thinking that they will do something in return or rather will appreciate our efforts.
It’s not easy.
Doing something for others and not expecting anything in return. It like the most philosophically impossible thing. I have tried and failed… miserably at times.
But once or twice when I have achieved this skill believe me life becomes a hell lot easier to live.
The other person isn’t harmed in any way by our expectations, but we are. In the long run, we are the ones who get hurt and shed tear over the person who didn't give a damn over what we did.
The best saying by our ancestors is.
"नेकी कर और पानी में डाल "
"Do the good deed of the day and then forget about it"
And always keep one thing in the mind. What goes around comes around. Not even a single good deed goes unaccounted for just like the bad ones don’t.
So don’t ruin your life and mood for others. Be happy that you are the generous soul who has done something good.
And never… never stop expecting from yourself because that’s how you will grow. The thirst to achieve your potential is what makes people excel.