|The Lipstick and the Beard have to coexist.|
Because a world of black is dull,a world of red is scary...
- Change the mindset: Check.
- Stand up for rights: Check
- Spread Awareness: Check
- Bring down patriarchy: ………..(Maybe...?)
- Seclude Men:……..(No really?)
- Create a female dominated society:……? (But why?!)
Did we just lose the plot here?
There are several socially aware men who really believe in making a difference. Subconsciously, they are feminists. Yet why aren't they aware of it, you ask? Because somewhere down the line the word has lost all its meaning. We were talking about equality and rights and suddenly we have shifted gears and are talking about bringing down patriarchy, exterminating men, creating campaigns to assert that women are greater than men, which is called Feminazi
Where has the essence of feminism gone?
|They are not the sides of the same coin, not even the same coin!|
Does anyone even know what feminism really is anymore?
We believe that men are devoid of feminism. I beg to differ.
I know many men who are feminists, my father being the most piquant example. He runs a business with my mother as an equal partner. His office has more female force than male. And he has supported me in decisions which my mother has backed out of. For that matter my paternal-family is staunch feminist who believes in giving equal rights to women.
On the contrary, my maternal-family is strictly patriarchal, my grandmother rued the day my second cousin sister was born, yes the irony is not lost on me.
So now we learn two facts, all men are not devoid of feminism and every woman isn't a feminist.
Lets explore this more.
If you cook food for your family are you working against the feminist theory?
I don’t think so. But if you aren't giving the right education to your daughter then you certainly are.
If you love living with your in-laws are you an anti-feminist?
No way! You enjoy that, you find time for family and that is your contribution to the house!
If you are a working mother are you a true feminist?
Yes, you could be, only if you realise that your maid is a woman too and are empathetic towards her. She is a working mother too.
If you are a conservative woman who likes to be a home maker are you anti-feminist?
Not at all, unless you frown upon working mothers for their choices!
Feminism is the essence of being a woman!
Moreover, as women, we have to stand with each other, for each other irrespective of the choices we make. Irrespective of the differences we share, irrespective of the conflict of opinion we have.
Khaleed Hosseini, in his novel a Thousand Splendid Suns, beautifully illustrates the bond that women share, during adversities, with each other. Standing up for a woman is feminism, imposing your skewed views on feminism isnt!
Some women believe that anything unjust happening to them is because they are women.Yes, out of a hundred cases, 70 precent of the times it could be the reason, but rest 30 percent of the times we just cry “discrimination, “anti-feminist”, “male chauvinist” just to hide our flaws.
Not getting that much needed raise? Shout bias! What if your work is sub-par?
Not getting that promotion? Shout male dominated society. What if you are not suited for the role?
Not getting the freedom to move out at night? Shout female discrimination. What if you've broken your family's trust in some ways?
If we really want to make a change we need to change ourselves too. Of course the society is at fault, of course there is discrimination everywhere, even at our homes. Yet misusing the term is just evaporating the whole frame of ideas behind feminism.
I read this beautiful wisdom and would love to share it here, “Do not wait to be given power. Just assume it. Unfortunately most of the feminine movements today are demanding rights. What are you demanding? From whom are you demanding? You are asking from an empty bowl! You have equal rights. Just own it! You simply have to assert your rights! You don’t have to go and ask somebody, it is all there for you!”
For the whole article you can go here: http://www.wisdom.srisriravishankar.org/women-are-born-leaders/
When we talk about feminism in the same breath we need to understand that sometimes even we make excuses that because we are women you shouldn't expect this of us. Umm..? Why not?
We started off as women demanding rights, we turned into women forcing our views on people, hiding our flaws under the banner of feminism and believing we were demanding “equality” when we were actually creating more polarisation than ever.
True, feminism begins with a change of mindset. And for that we need men to bring about feminism because they are a part of our society. We can’t just ostracise them under idiotic pretexts. We need all the elements of the society working in harmony. Truly free and liberal women have had several supporting forces who have uplifted them.
I feel free because my father, yes a man, has supported me.
My mother feels free because her husband, yes a man, has supported her decisions throughout out their 23 years of togetherness.
My beautician feels free because her husband, yes again a man, has supported her decision to work.
See the difference?
Supported not allowed.
Supported not moulded.
Supported not permitted.
Supported not authorized.
Women need support of the society to be free, but the first step, the initiation has to be theirs. We don't need to get permission, allowance, authorisation from anyone to achieve anything in life. We need motivation, inspiration, guidance and zeal.
Why feminism is losing the battle?
We have created a war, when it should be a way of life.
We want equality, yet we get polarised ourselves.
We want to end biased views, yet we generate them.
I asked men and they weren't far from the truth!Women were...
Feminism was a movement and now its a paradox.
We are contradicting our values and principles on a daily basis.
We contradict it when we ask our boyfriend to pay for our food, we contradict it when we want a man to replace the bulb, we contradict it the moment we say “oh thats a man’s job”, we contradict it when we play the victim and shout wolf for something unreasonable.
If you are a true feminist, believe in equality. Equality not just for women but for children, men, transgenders, blacks, whites, differently abled, homosexuals, poor, rich, muslims, hindus, atheists, devout, confessors and priests, grief stricken, mentally challenged, those who speak for themselves, those who don’t, you cannot keep a biased view towards women just because you are feminist. But because you are a feminist you have the ability to be empathetic with other misjudged and minored classes of people. You can help them only when you get out of the rut that only women need equality, yes they do but so do millions of other “humans” too.
We talk about equality when we should be fighting for humanity.
If we become more humane, more compassionate, and feel like we belong to everyone, I don't think feminism would even exist.
And that any day is better!